Dear Friends,
I’m going to take the opportunity to share some art - pieces that didn’t get into my other blogs - with a bit of mind ramblings in between.
It’s a sunny day in Seattle. I should be out taking a walk, doing something other than hanging with the dogs, but there's a point to it all. Molly, Aaron’s lab, and Fidel Castro, Aaron’s friend Jodi’s black pug, are fighting at my feet. Fidel is so far, and probably forever, unsuccessful in his mounting attempts - invading much bigger territory.
Excitement is in the air. Alan’s buddy Art is getting married. The groom must have ordered the weather for his bride. I would say that is true - I'm a romantic that way. Alan, Aaron and Jodi are looking for the right clothes to wear to the wedding, while I sit on the couch . . . relaxing . . . not invited (I would have been - but who knew I would be here now), not thinking about doing the rest of the laundry, not cleaning the kitchen, not unloading the SUV on the third day home, not reorganizing the whole frickin’ house. Just . . . sitting here. With Fidel . . . who has now figured out that his trying to do the deed was all in vain. We look at each other. Yes . . . I think I’m beginning to understand.
I’ve created a blur - like Fidel, I'm aimlessly missing the point - thinking my little pug pecker is going to make it all better. So what's really true?
Dad’s come home and made a mess.
Suddenly the house looks like a cyclone hit it. It says in Human Design that Manifesting Generators - which I am one - in their Not-Self conditioning - generate action by doing things, whether needed or not. I thought I had this under control on the trip - not offering to paint kitchens or mow lawns or take loads to the dump. My Real Self was visiting and relaxing after the do, do, doing of driving.
OK, so what do I do after doing 8433 miles of driving? I start doing all my sons’ accumulated laundry - neatly folding it - putting new shelves up to hold it. I pull things out of messy closets and start organizing. The organizer from Hell. It will be better I tell them. Trust me.
My boys tell me that I’m just like Latifa. Just a sidebar . . . Latifa is also a Manifesting Generator. Separately we moved to Kauai at around the same time and became friends in 1994. We both left when we were 63, her two years before me. In her first months of driving around looking for a home and family - just like me - she came to Seattle, and stayed with Alan and Aaron for a couple weeks. Like me she did the piles and piles of laundry, cleaned the house, organized things. I can’t help but wonder how these guys can have clean clothes without me or Latifa around. For their credit - they do quite well for themselves. They are Projectors - and simply aren’t driven to do, do, do.
So what should I do with all my need to be doing?
Human Design tells us Manifesting Generators to Stop It! Stop doing. (How can you stop a runaway train? I question.)
Truth is, no one is asking me to do anything. My son’s didn’t ask me to do the laundry. I just saw something that I thought needed to be done and for some strange reason felt obliged to do. I suppose if I just added to the mess and sat on couch on my ass, I would be a bum. On the other hand, a thoughtful question would be, “How can I help?” And then do what I have been invited to do. Just “doing it” may in fact be insulting and literally “uncalled for.” (although in this case my sons are happy with the maid.)
This is exactly why I’m a student of Human Design. I wish to live my life in balance, according to me true Authority and Design - in Exaltation, not detriment. Ironically, doing my sons’ laundry without being asked may very well be in conflict with my higher purpose. Is this in fact an example of my energy being out of control? Am I the little pug trying to screw the big dog without being invited?
My son Alan is a Projector. He has a management position in a growing company. His job as a Projector is to direct energy. All us Generators want to do,do the do-do that we think we do, do so well. It is up to Projectors like him to control the damn busy beavers - so they’re not doing work that’s uncalled for - wasting time and energy and money with off-purpose or unproductive efforting - doing the company laundry when they have better, more focused, things to do.
I just read this to Alan, and his comment was, “It’s OK for you to be a bum. You don’t have to do anything.” Have I finally earned the right to be a bum? Can I finally just do nothing? or - Will I be folding my sons’ laundry on my death bed? God help me!
What do I think of when there is nothing to do? Seattle sport fans are happy - the Seattle Storm won the Woman’s pro basketball championship, Seattle Seahawks won their first football game last week, and the Mariner’s are posed to lose 100 baseball games this season, as their beloved Ichiro again has over 200 base hits. What's on ESPN? Truly, all is well in the Emerald City. Is it possible that all is well in my emerald head? . . . just being one of the dogs on a lazy Saturday afternoon.
With continued love and blessings,
David Dakan Allison
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